Is Love Worth the Pain... That is the Question

To attempt falling in love
Or never know heartache 
That is the question

It fits like a glove 
That suffocates me 
To attempt falling in love

He gives off a bad impression 
Is this a risk to pursue 
That is the question 

A pair of graceful doves
Shot by a hunter with perfect aim
To attempt falling in love

No freedom of expression 
Yet where would I go next
That is the question

Love stories are a blur of 
Never-ending transgression 
Do I attempt to fall in love? 
That is the question.

Comments

  1. Professor MillerApril 12, 2022 at 6:24 PM

    Wow, another villanelle, and one with unusually short lines. It reads nice, feels pretty natural, and calls to mind the famous lines from Hamlet (to be or not to be). I also really liked the first two lines of your last stanza. Indeed, love stories do tend toward transgression--of the self, of morality, of expectation, and so on. So that part feels wise.

    My suggestion for improvement is to use more poetic license and modify the refrain lines slightly, so that they fit the syntax of the poem. For example, I would change the sixth line to "when I attempt falling in love." It's OK to make little changes to the smaller words like that! I think it would help the poem.

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  2. Rina ShamilovApril 13, 2022 at 8:39 AM

    i love how it all comes together in the end, especially the way the story moves along with the use of refrains. i also love how the language here is simple, it is not showy in the slightest and its simplicity allows the reader to understand a really complex emotion in a casual way.

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