Relying on you

The house is falling apart

At a loss of heart


We relied on you

When the screws were loose

If a faucet was leaking

Never thought to ask you how you do it


The house hangs on 

by loose threads 

As it relied on you

to lay the foundation

Doing what my father couldn't do 


Forgetting you weren't dad

We relied on you

To make dinner every night

Then your body put up a fight

Sending you in flight. 


Lifeless on the kitchen floor

We would not know your dinner anymore

If I had known taco Tuesday would follow woeful Wednesday,

I would've asked you what spices you used. 

Comments

  1. Rina ShamilovApril 3, 2022 at 6:49 PM

    woah this is a really cool poem and the last stanza is my favorite! i like how the focus of the poem is blended; you talk about a father figure you lost who resembles your biological father, but isn't? i love how the poem takes on such a sarcastic tone, despite holding such a sobering theme, but a part of it reminds me of a teenager snarkily talking back to her father while also acknowledging how much she loves him. this is so so well done and i love this poem. i am a little confused by the sudden couplet and think it might take away from the last stanza a bit. maybe consider taking it out? overall, this poem is so beautiful and i love how you did this!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Professor MillerApril 12, 2022 at 6:20 PM

    I love the last two lines of this poem, and I appreciate your exploration of rhyme. The ending is effective in blending a fun pop cultural reference and a jaunty tone with a serious meaning. It reminds me a bit of Frank O' Hara and New York School. They too used witty pop cultural references in the service of otherwise serious poetry. The rhymes just prior to the last two lines do seem pretty densely musical compared to what preceded it. I also wondered how the food got on the kitchen floor, as well as who the "you" is. Is there a reason why the poem withholds that information?

    Not sure if I want to workshop this one or your newest one yet. I will email you.

    ReplyDelete

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