Villanelle for Spring


Seasons are begging to change again                       

Sun on the horizon broadening our day,

Warming my heart as spring ages in. 


Hands intertwined and when 

We adjourn, our feet know the way. 

Seasons are beginning to change again 


Comfortable against your skin

As you brush loose hairs away,

Warming my heart as spring ages in. 


A chance, hope within range 

Raising our glasses of champagne, 

Seasons are beginning to change again.  


I ignore what they say is a sin, 

Bodies intertwined, never astray

Warming my heart as spring ages in


Uncontrolled spirals, life will spin 

You remain a constant gain although 

Seasons are beginning to change again 

Warming my heart as spring ages in



Comments

  1. Marcela HomsanyFebruary 23, 2022 at 11:06 AM

    I LOVE THIS POEM. I, 10/10 recommend reading this on a bench at central park while listening to 'Je ta laisserai de mots' for the full experience.

    The feelings of ever changing young long as we, ourselves, change with the seasons around us gives a sense of harmony. The romantic message of : the seasons may change, but my love for you is evergreen is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this poem with the world. One of my favorites.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Liana HanokaeeFebruary 25, 2022 at 1:15 PM

    This was the cutest poem. I was able to see something when I read this. It reminded me of someone young who might have been hurt with love but has reached a healthy love with someone. I liked the usage of an anaphora a lot. Go Enyaaa woooo!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Rina ShamilovFebruary 25, 2022 at 3:23 PM

    this is so beautiful and the language is so pretty! i feel like a little child running through a montage of memories when i read this. my only critique is the rhyme meter. i think it's supposed to be aba. this is such a gorgeous and sweet poem!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Professor MillerFebruary 26, 2022 at 7:32 PM

    This is warm and hopeful poem--something I think we could all use right now! You do a good job keeping the language natural, and your use of the refrains is perfectly in line with the villanelle form. I love the physical lines like "As you brush loose hairs behind my ear."

    Alas, however, as we went over in class, villanelles are suppose to follow a consistent patter of rhymes. So this isn't a villanelle, though it is a sweet poem.

    As Rina mentioned, a villanelle is supposed to follow a rhyme pattern, like the examples in the book. Maybe it will be easier to see if you read a few more of them and study the rhymes at the end of the lines. You will notice that all of the tercets follow an ABA pattern, as Rina mentioned, while the final stanza--the quatrain--is supposed to follow an ABAA pattern.

    So here is an example of you you could change this to make it fit with the form of the villanelle:

    Seasons are begging to change,
    Sun broadening on the horizon ,
    Warming a spring makes winter strange.

    Hands intertwined, the moment in range
    Practically skipping as we adjourn
    Seasons are beginning to change

    I am not sure if that is the right way to do it, though, because the "ange" rhyme is hard to sustain. Maybe it would work better with the "in" rhyme as the "A" in the pattern, like this:

    Seasons are begging to change again.
    Sun on the horizon broadening our day,
    Warming my heart as spring ages in.

    Hands intertwined and when
    we adjourn, our feet know the way.
    Seasons are beginning to change again.

    Comfortable against your skin,
    As you brush loose hairs away,
    Warming my heart as spring ages in.

    And so on. I hope this helps to better understand how the form works! I can't wait to see what you come up with--whether a new villanelle or a revision of this one.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yael SpodekFebruary 27, 2022 at 7:37 AM

    This poem just made me feel so at ease after reading. It's so soft and beautiful, I loved reading it. The only critique, which Professor Miller and Rina addressed, would be the rhyme scheme; as it's not ABA. I love the refrains you used. They fit well at the end of each stanza and they really tie the poem together. Every time I re-read this poem I like it more.

    ReplyDelete
  6. RachelMarch 2, 2022 at 12:25 PM

    This poem is gorgeous. It's soft and sweet and I really like your use of anaphora. I'd love to see more rhyming, I feel like it would make it more musical!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Professor MillerMarch 6, 2022 at 6:16 PM

    I'm putting this one up for discussion on Monday!

    ReplyDelete

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